


Belonging

by sarahdoodles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Dark Disciple - Christie Golden, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Marriage Proposal, its mushy and sweet, see also: quinlan vos is a nerd and drunkenly asks asajj to marry him, the first chapter is pure angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 19:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahdoodles/pseuds/sarahdoodles
Summary: Asajj finds where she belongs.These are a couple of mini fics that I wrote in the past week or so. Originally they had nothing to do with each other, but I think they pair together nicely.





	1. Chapter 1

  
Not belonging is a feeling that Asajj Ventress has become intimately familiar with throughout her life.

  
As a child, she was torn away from her clan and into the chains of slavery. And then Ky Narec found her, and she had a caretaker, father figure, and teacher.

Oh, he taught her so much. He taught her of the Force, how to swing a lightsaber, how to be a Jedi. He made the harsh, scum ridden planet of Rattatak a place they could both thrive.

  
They were heroes to the people, together, as teacher and student.

  
As a teenager, Narec’s life was stolen before her eyes, and once again she did not belong. So she made herself a place to belong. She murdered every pirate and warlord who stood in her way until the only place for her was the very top of the heap.

  
She was a queen. She was a leader.

  
Her name was feared by those who challenged her, and she manipulated that fear into a means of control.

  
(It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.)

  
As a young woman, she left Rattatak in search of greater power. Under Count Dooku’s tutelage she was no longer the master of her own fate, but the things he taught her were more alluring than sitting above smarmy pirates and cutthroats. Her sabers struck truer, her grip on the Force grew tighter. Dooku honed her into a weapon so _magnificent_ that beings across the galaxy feared her.

  
She shaved her head to prove her dedication as a Sith, and took up twin red blades in place of her green. She was an apprentice once more, and an assassin. A follower, and yet a crushing force in the Separatist army.

  
Though it was a poisonous relationship, Asajj found belonging at Dooku’s side.  
Even so, that ended, too.

  
Reflecting back on it now, she should have seen his betrayal coming. She had been so blinded by her admiration of him, by the raw power that he commanded with a finesse that only someone of his experience and age could muster. Asajj couldn’t imagine at the time that he would leave her to die in the blackness of space. And yet he did.

  
Still, she survived.

  
As an adult, too old to be considered young and not young enough to be considered old, she returned to the clan she’d never truly known. Mother Talzin called her sister, and the other Nightsisters soon followed. For the first time, she had a family. She found belonging in the dark caves of Dathomir and in the company of her sisters. She found belonging in her mission for revenge against Count Dooku. She found belonging in the way the Nightbrothers looked upon her in fear.

  
But it did not last.

  
On the same day she was truly welcomed as a Sister of the Night, no matter how hard they fought with their dead sisters alongside them, the Nightsisters fell under General Grievous’s fist. The battle– no, the _genocide_ ended before the night was done.

  
Asajj, once again, was forced away from where she belonged and into a galaxy as unforgiving as a star engulfing it’s solar system in nuclear fire.

  
“Where do I go? What should I do?” She had posed these questions to Mother Talzin before watching her disappear into an ethereal mist. She asked herself these questions now. To her frustration, she found no answer.

  
_I was never meant to belong_ , she thinks. _I’m meant to be on my own. I’ve always done better alone._

  
So here, on a dirty cargo ship to a desert planet in the farthest reaches of the Outer Rim, she resolves to stop trying. Watching people she trusts die and betray her, leaving her alone again and again and again… she was just running in the same circles. Searching for the place she belongs is what brought her suffering.

  
For the first time, not having a place she belongs doesn’t cut as deep as it used to. The pain is there, indescribable and achingly lonely, but Asajj bandages her age old wounds that never fully heal. She picks herself up. She stands as she feels the ship shudder to a landing, and steps out into the blazing sun and endless sand.

  
She is alone. She does not belong.

  
And Asajj Ventress discovers she doesn’t need to.


	2. Chapter 2

Tonight had been an unexpectedly _romantic_ night. There were times when Quinlan did things that were just…. endearing, in that roguish way of his.

  
Like earlier, when he walked behind her seat in the cockpit and kissed her cheek. And later, as he proudly presented a bottle of Tevraki Whisky that she wasn’t quite sure how he got it, but was more than glad to share with him. Now, they were far past the realm of “tipsy” and toeing the line between drunken banter and falling asleep against the side of her– _their_ bed.

  
They speak in hushed tones, shoulder to shoulder, Quinlan’s hand sitting over her’s on the cold floor. There’s a blissful, almost bubbly air surrounding the two of them. Asajj can’t quite remember feeling bubbly before. But it feels like the perfect word for how she feels now.

  
A soft smile came to her lips as she leaned her head against his shoulder. The words “I love you,” escape her in a quiet hush, and she doesn’t mind how the alcohol has loosened her tongue.

  
“I love you, too.” He answers back.

  
Not a breath later Quinlan tilts her chin upward and presses his lips to her’s, quietly, softly, passionately. Asajj leans into the kiss lazily, and she feels content.

She shifts until she’s sitting on his lap, straddling him as they kiss. The headiness of the whisky mixed in with their closeness until it’s intoxicating.

Quinlan belongs with her, she belongs with him. They showed it in each kiss, in the way he held her waist and she his face.

  
Quinlan is the first to break their lips apart, leaning his forehead against her’s. Asajj takes the opportunity to catch her breath, chuckling softly. “Too much for you to handle?”

  
She can feel him smile without really looking. “Who, me? Never.” It’s exactly the sort of answer she’s come to expect. “But…”

  
“But?”

  
A sudden quiet comes between them as Asajj leans back just enough to really _look_ at him. There’s resolve on his face, muted by the softness of his dark eyes. And then, with the gentlest voice he can muster, Quinlan asks, “Asajj… will you marry me?”

  
Asajj felt all of her breath leave in an instant. She’s about to laugh at the very idea of it. MARRIAGE? If not for the look on his face, she’d ask if he was joking. But there’s no mistaking that deep look in Quinlan’s eye.

  
“… You’re serious.”

  
“Why wouldn’t I be?”

  
“That’s…” In a rare moment, she’s at a loss for words. She flicks her eyes away from him. “You really want that?”

  
“Asajj.” Quinlan moved one hand to her cheek, encouraging her to look at him. “You are the most amaxing woman I’ve ever met. You’ve changed my life in so many ways… ways that I didn’t think were possible. Being with you here, on this ship, feels like home. I didn’t know if I’d ever have a real home again after leaving the Order.” His mouth twitches upward in a faint smile as Asajj meets his gaze. “But I found a home. _You_ are my home. I can’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else more than here, with you. So if you’ll have me, I–”

  
“Yes.”

  
Quinlan blinked. “Yes?”

  
Asajj smiles, feeling undignified and silly, but these are feelings that she’s come to embrace with him around. “ _Yes_.” She says again, this time with more conviction.

  
And just like that, with a near musical laugh and blinding smile, Quinlan kisses her. He kisses her deeply and joyously, and she returns it. They melt together in a drunken, laughable mess, each kiss sealing their promise to each other. Quinlan stands and lifts her with ease as Asajj wraps her legs around his back, only for the two of them to fall down right into bed.

  
He kisses every inch of skin he can reach and Asajj LAUGHS, her fingers digging into the back of his undershirt. In between breaths she can hear his excited “I love you”’s, drinking them in, letting the heat of the moment wash over her in a wave of pure emotion.

  
This is it. This is the person she wants to be with, no matter the cost.

  
The future is a dark, UNKNOWN place. There’s no telling what she might face.

  
_But_ , Asajj thinks to herself, still smiling wide as Quinlan kisses her neck, _I know I won’t have to face it alone._


End file.
